Goin' to see Pat in leg rehab

So Pat's doctor rang me up. It turns out Pat brought his laptop to leg rehab with him but the Ambulance doctors had forgotten to bring his power supply so I dropped that off and brought him some cashews. Also he had me run kind of a secret mission for him, since they don't give him Internet access in leg rehab (I was wonderin' why he'd been offline all week). I slipped him a thick paper bag full of the goods: new issues of Backstage Pass, Shaven Desires, BBW Gold, all that nasty old stuff he likes. He slipped me forty for it and I knew he didn't want to chitchat. I mean, I ain’t gonna say the guy likes to jack off but if he ran a restaurant there would be lotion on the tables. We've always had this weird understanding about how he likes to j/o, even though he would deny it to everybody else on earth 'til the day he died. Even his gravestone would angrily say "I never did!" I ain't exactly sure how it started that it was cool and understood between us that he j/o's, but it seems like it always has been. Maybe he always knew he'd need a friend who'd be cool when a night like tonight finally came around. That would show some pretty good foresight.