Thursday, November 23, 2006

Kraftwerk Thänksgiving

Man it was hard at the place today we did this Kraftwerk Thänksgiving with the boys Téodor and Ray. Ray ain't so much of a Kraftwerk fan but he gets the idea and since he was all beaned up on knock-knock gas he thought it would be fun (of course it would be fun Ray). Anyhow so the theme of a good Kraftwerk Thänksgiving is that it is a regular supper with turkey and carrots and stuff but the mood is very severe and everyone acts like Kraftwerk. Kraftwerk Thänksgivings always end with someone admitting that though they have eaten, they remain unsatisfied. We dogged it up real proper this year and here is some of how we played it.

ME: Welcome to zis Kraftwerk Thänksgiving it is not important that you sit down but you may find it konvenient

MOLLY: Please be seated at my home

ME: Woman does not give orders [shoots her a severe glance]

TÉODOR: I will sit it is ze korrect form for eating, it is ideally designed

RAY: [kind of getting it] Ja, I sit down!

ME: Fine then be seated as I mentioned it is not important to me

MOLLY: I will check on the potatoes

RAY: [slightly incorrect buzzy robot voice] I...WOULD...LIKE...A...MARTINI...

ME: Perhaps you cannot have...a martini?

RAY: Oh, you playin' with me!

ME: [shoots him severe glance]

RAY: Oh, right. [Clears throat, points to heart]

ME: [turning quickly to Téodor] Fetch him zis "martini." I do not know what it is. It is some dumb drink a man puts in his face. It makes him sick and he goes to his work the next day with a shit in his body.

TÉODOR: [runs off quickly]


ME: You may bring in the food now and put it at the center of the table

RAY: Man, that's really nice how you got it all so she—

ME: [severe glance]

RAY: Oh hee man sorry uh...the woman she pleases the man

ME: Indeed for centuries it is the order why do I think I can change this thing it would be the ultimate arrogance

TÉODOR: Here is the martini

RAY: Dude, you ain't serve a martini in a zip-top sandwich baggie, dogg. Especially not with the olive in another baggie.

TÉODOR: [squints hard, stares straight forward, as though experiencing a sharp pain]

ME: [sharp glance]

RAY: Oh, sorry guys. Thank You For The Martini dogg

ME: He thanks you.

TÉODOR: He tries

MOLLY: [brings in turkey on carving board, sets it before me]

ME: The knifes please

MOLLY: [produces my carving set from the sideboard] The knifes

ME: As you know I say a speech. This is the holiday of Thanksgiving. It is a day of eating food that is baked, and food that is lightly cooked in a sauté or a hot pot of liquid. If you can bear it then announce why you are thankful on this day. Remember that your opinions may seem boorish or those of an ass to every person who is here.

RAY: I'm thankful for anyone who can get me a straw

ME: There are straws in the cupboard beneath the toaster they are next to the Captain Crunch

MOLLY: It is a large box they were on a sale price

TÉODOR: They are the kind with the flexible neck you can not miss them

ME: Bring the whole box so we may make sculptures after the meal

RAY: Oh dope

Anyhow the Kraftwerk Thänksgiving went pretty much like that. Ray ended up talking us into going over to his place for some Braveheart and Johnnie Walker Blue Label. Even though we had had a pretty good sized turkey dinner the first thing he did was heat up his fry-o-lator and make a bunch of batches of fries. Dude has technique; we grubbled on those for most of the night and I think they helped me from gettin' too clopsy on the Scotch.

Happy Thänksgiving