Thursday, October 27, 2005

More updates on current TV programs

I am gonna update you on some more shows that I have not been watching this season, yet which I have watched in previous seasons. Sit back and stay tuned as R. Beef Kazenzakis gives you this week's scoop on...

(summary narrated by Donald Trump)
Cormax team faced off against the Versatech team to see who could turn the biggest profit on sunglasses and umbrellas on various street corners in Manhattan. Cormax team leader Jackson wisely avoided the Senegalese-dominated Wall Street, and Versatech embarrassed itself when an oblivious team member, Brody, tried to hock a pair of $5 imitation Ray Ban Wayfarers to Karl Lagerfeld, who was getting out of a private car on Lexington Avenue. The agitated Lagerfeld personally came to the Boardroom to fire Brody, who was this week's loser.

Larry becomes impatient at a taqueria and remarks to his agent, who is with him, "It's like these people have never made a burrito before!" He does not intend for the cook making his burrito to hear him, but the cook does, and there is a pretty tense moment, and Larry ends up throwing his burrito away in the bathroom, too upset and paranoid to eat it. The next night Larry and his wife are at a reading of Latino poetry, and the main poet is the cook Larry had insulted. Afterwards, at the reception, they discover that the poet had taken a job in the taqueria to make the details of his poetry more real. The poet confronts him about his hateful words, and mentions that everyone at the taqueria knew he had thrown his burrito away in the bathroom, because "never in the history of the taqueria has anyone ever brought their food anywhere near the baƱo." Larry laughs at this, but it apparently wasn't meant as a joke, because the man just stares at him, then shakes his head and says, "you are a coward." Larry feels bad about this later and talks about it with Julia-Louis Dreyfus.

A thrilled man in a shiny gold suit seems to tell contestants that they have to walk across a narrow Astroturf platform, over a large pool of water, while holding an enormous Great Dane in their arms. When the Great Dane is instead taken outside by models and fed treats in the studio parking lot, I remain confused. What about the Astroturf platform? The show continues on to its musical number, a spicy latina singing dance music to a powerful beat.

There you have it, TV updates from my imagination!

For bonus material this week, a poem from my archives:

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by R. Beef Kazenzakis

Caramel Treat
Good to eat
Butter and sugar
Tasty and neat

Caramel Treat
Chewy and sweet
Sticks to my teeth
becomes harder
The more I chew...
The tighter my teeth
Are locked together(!)
Frozen, fused together
The caramel was a

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