Tuesday, December 06, 2005

I could not eat the chips I wanted so bad.

Man dang it is a real regular situation in my life where I will strongly want a food item that will make a lot of noise while someone cranky or judgmental is sleeping lightly near the item. In the past Gramma K would always bitch at me through her door whenever I would go into the kitchen past nine at night, even if I was silently eating a banana with my eyes wide open and measured breathing through my nostrils. Recently (actually, yesterday) Molly went to bed kind of early because she had had a real crap shift at work (apparently an old dude died in the bathroom and his cigarette fell onto a newspaper and caught the joint on fire, meaning no wages for weeks while they fix everything and the police investigate). I was like "oh yes definitely babe you should hit the sack you deserve the rest" and she sacked out, but fitfully. I could hear her tossing and turning and even once she muttered "dammit."

I was just castin' around for crap to do, couldn't get into coding or whatever because I kept imaginin' the old guy's last moments and also his body burning, then I turned on the TV and Law & Order had this episode about little kids getting run over by a van where the elderly driver had had a stroke and died (I ain't makin' this up). Attempting to mix up the depressing/livable ratio a little I popped a Coke and went rummagin' in the cupboard for the best thing in the world to eat with Coke, which is namely Tom's of Maine salt and vinegar chips. Man I have often walked around, my belly a swirling sea of brown cola and hella sour chips, huge smile on my face.

Damn but I had left the bag of chips by my side of the bed, since for lunch that is exactly what I had eaten, Coke and Tom's. If I went in to grab the bag it would make all its humongous crinkly sounds and Molly would go BEEF, I JUST got to SLEEP! and then she would stay awake with her horrible situation fresh in her head and have to listen to me crunchin' on all kinds of chips, crackin' hissy Cokes, and crinkling the bag until she went insane and the sounds began to resemble the sounds of a building catching fire.

There are other instances, but you get the idea. I got to plan ahead better. Maybe for an hour I'll walk around tomorrow and try to see the world only in terms of people and the food sounds that will annoy them. I might make a blueprint of the property and use visual aids, I am kind of a visual thinker.